I feel…IDK how to describe it.

Infinitely lonely, I guess.

I wonder, if I was to go, dissapear, kill myself, whatever the fuck, how would it affects anyones life? Would anyone miss the things I do? The things I say?

Do I have ANY impact on anyones life?

It just feels like I have no imprint on the people I consider close to me, who has had an imprint on me.

I actually found my old glasses.

Same frame, somehow more sturdy and fits to my face better.

Also, the lenses are actually nicer than my other glasses. Like my vision must reverted to what it was before?

I have no idea, I do new glasses, but these actually pretty alright for the time being.

No

I want to make a short film, where you can’t actually see who any of the characters are, they’re all out of frame but they’re all interacting.

I realise this idea is similair to a radio play, yet IDK. The whole element of having a camera there somehow changes the dynamic?

I’ll have to see.

To be fair I also wanna write a radio play, sooo. Maybe it all ties together.

Poseidon: Machete for chopping, opening up coconut, that kinda thing. Guitar, so I’ll have something to do when I get bored. A shovel, just cos they’re useful. A backpack is the last thing, I reckon, though can I have a friend too? I’d really like to have a friend there as well.

Ares: Depends if the other person know as much as me? Maybe I’d go with longsword, cos I actually know a bit about stances and stuff like that.

Artemis: Dogs cos they’re loyal, and kind and not SUPER stupid at least. Also very affectionate. Mans best friend, after all. Also came from Wolves. How is that now awesome?

Athena: I’m learning to play guitar. IDK if that counts? When I was younger I used to be able to put my legs behind my head.

Hestia: NO IDEA. Gotta visit a few places first before I make up my mind, don’t I? I mean London is nice and cool, but busy and expensive. Has to be a city, I reckon.

I tried Jack Daniels and coke, it was nummy.

Gonna get another one.

You know they’res something wrong with school and exams when they make you start wanting to kill yourself just thinking about them.

Aren’t we can’t afford to get two super nice, super cheap pizzas on a deal from a take away place, once every two months cos it’s too expensive.

??????????????????????????????

Oh I’m sorry, I’ll do my best not to enjoy myself ever, next time.

hermionejg:

significant trigger warning for ED.

but I’m in love with meowitslucy’s channel

and this was fucking amazing.

Great video.

I mean, while I admit women have a lot worse for body issues, I’ve found it…interesting, maybe, that many men now have it too. I have it.

I’m not exactly muscular. Not to say I have no muscle but any I have is hidden under a deep layer of fat.

Anyone who knows me, knows I eat better than the majority of people my age and especially my weight.

It’s true I don’t excerise that often, and I would like to get fit yet I know that no matter how much I did I’d never end up looking like one of those male models that people swoon over.

I guess I’m almost LUCKY knowing that being large is in my genetics, it runs in the family, I’ve looked into plently of studies saying our body family isn’t nearly as simple as just calories in and out. While it may in some odd way lucky, it’s also a curse.

I’ll never look in the mirror and see myself as somone else others want. I’ll never feel like someone likes at me and finds me just, SO attractive, without even knowing me.

Maybe it’s vain to want that, but I think we all do sometimes. I just wish I didn’t look into the mirror and always just see a pathetic look fat guy who no one could love or find attractive.

I was practising the C chord, one I really struggled with before and now it’s coming so easily.

Holy shit, I’m actually OVER COMING MY PROBLEMS. I’ve never done that so fast before.

Fuck, just needa practise my chord changes and I’ll be able to play a song. I mean, my strumming has got a bit better, too.

So Hammersmith and Fulham is going to pull down the fly-over next to Hammersmith broadway, and turn everything from the road to the river into a giant park along the Thames.

Fuck yes, I am VERY HAPPY about this. The area around Hammersmith is like, super tight spaces, super polluted, loads of noise and light pollution. It’ll proably make EVERYTHING so much more quiet. It’ll be lovely!

Be nice to have more green spaces, especially one that seems like it’s gonna be that big. Not just a little green that’s along the river now, but a PROPER park.

I like them trying to make my area all fancy as well. Hammersmith and Fulham is this WEIRD mix of really nice and scummy bits. I mean it gives it character, but you know. :D

I’m pretty sure it’s a rule that everyone likes stocking and tights.

Just saying.

Gonna learning sewing for sure, so I can make my own jeans and jackets and suits.

I mean, for a start it’s a useful skill. Secondly I like fashion a lot, but I don’t have the body for stuff you find in shops.

I mean young children in Asia do it every day, why can’t I? It just takes a bit of time. It can’t be any harder than learning the guitar.

Sorry for the red tint, but either way, here’s the picture.